Fallen
by EE's Skysong
Summary: Odd daydreams in class about the one girl he can never have. 'I may be a jokester, but I'm also a realist.' Onesided OddxSissi, slight OddxSam.


Disclaimer: "Nobody can resist her charm- just look at those two nobodys she hangs out with!"

(An: Well, I've had this idea for a good long while. It was inspired by a couples discussion over on Lyokofreak- somebody mentioned that Sissi/Odd was a love/hate relationship. I happen to adore love/hate relationships and Odd angst so they turned into this... another angsty, first-person present tense Odd POV. I'm seriously getting addicted.)

It's just another day at Kadic- boring classes, monotonous coursework, rambling teachers.

I'm sitting next to Ulrich, as usual, and Sissi's grabbed the seat in front of us because Jeremie's taken the one behind, also as usual. As usual, I'm stuck staring at the back of her head. But I'm not complaining.

Ulrich catches my eye. He nods at Sissi and gags. I grin, as usual. It's a knee-jerk response.

Ulrich's my best friend. He has been since I first came to Kadic. He's like my brother. And I hate him more than words could ever say.

It's not like I want to kill the guy- he just has everything I want. The one person I know will never look at me sideways. The one person I mock and tease and need so bad it hurts.

Elisabeth "Sissi" Delmas. The principal's daughter. The beauty queen. The school's angel. The person I've fallen for, and fallen hard.

I may be a jokester, but I'm also a realist.I know exactly (or pretty much) how it would go if I ever tried to talk to her about it.

"Sissi?" I'll say. "Can I talk to you?"

"For the last time, _Odd_," she'll snap, "I did _not_ have a nose job!"

"It's not about that," I'll respond. "That's old hat, girl. I never reuse jokes."

Sissi will glare at me, toss her hair, and walk off without a backward glance.

And I'll just be left standing there. Crushed. And Ulrich or Jeremie or Yumi or whoever I know that's around will give me a "What was _that_ about?" look and walk off too.

Nobody'd get it, anyway. I've thought about talking to Aelita once or twice, though. She's the most impartial, not really knowing Sissi. She's heard about her, but she'd still understand. Except for those three words I know she'd ask: "What about Sam?"

What about Sam. She dumped me. Two days after the laptop incident, she showed up at my dorm room, annoucned we were over, apologized, and walked off without a backward glance. The girl broke me. (1)

It was about then that I started paying attention to Sissi. She was being more persistent with Ulrich, anyway- I saw her a lot more.

She was pretty, yeah, but I'd never thought about her... like that. Not before. Not even considered it. I'd just seen her as some annoying wannabe who needed to get over herself and Ulrich.

I still think that. I don't know what's changed, really.

I _do_ know, though, that whenever she looks my way, I stumble. Or stutter. Witticisms dry up in my throat. Yesterday Yumi asked me if I was sick because I hadn't insulted Sissi in a week.

I can't, not anymore. Dreams that used to feature Sam now tend to leave me with images of Sissi drifting through my mind.

But, like I've said, I understand it's stupid. She'd never look twice at me. She's more interested in that Theo guy than she ever was (or will be) in me! And her heart belongs to Ulrich.

I don't hate him, really, I guess; he's still my best friend, but ever since this started I can't talk to him as easily as I used to. I see him mooning over Yumi or complaining about Sissi and I want to ask, "What the hell is wrong with you? Why can't you see what you've got right in front of you?"

I wouldn't, though. Not ever. If he ever knew, I think I might die. None of my friends would ever let me forget it.

If Sissi ever found out... as I've stated, I don't have high hopes. Her ever seeing me as anything more than "that annoying boy with all the purple" is about as likely as Yumi kissing Jeremie.

She loves Ulrich. She hates me. Maybe that's why I feel the way I do- she's always so sure of herself. Not like my parents- flitting from place to place, mindstate to mindstate, never sure, never certain. They call it being artistic. I call it annoying. (2)

I thought I was in love with Sam, but it only took me a few days to get over her completely. Am I in love with Sissi? I don't know. If I am... then love sucks utter _ass._

I tried to stop, really. Tried to take my mind off a girl who's probably worse for me than Sam and cares just as much. Tried to find someone else who caught and held my interest like she did. Nothing worked. Nobody at Kadic is like she is- confident, sassy, and willing to do whatever she has to to get what she wants. Nobody makes me feel like she does. Nobody feels as _right._

The class bell rings, startling me from my thoughts. Ulrich touches my shoulder. "You coming or what?"

"Yeah, yeah," I reply, grinning at him. _GOD I envy you._ "Let's beat it before the loser patrol catches up." As long as Sissi doesn't come near me, I can keep up the facade. Just please let her stay away... I don't want anybody to know what I think and after _that_ class if she does it may just all come spilling out.

Me and UIrich walk out.

"Hey, Ulrich!" Sissi yells, behind us.

Ulrich rolls his eyes and turns. "What do _you_ want?"

"Come to your senses yet?"

"I did a long time ago."

"So you'll go out with me?"

"I was _referring_ to the day I first turned you down, Sissi."

Sissi huffs. "Oh, I'm _sure,_" she replies.

We start to walk off, but she's not done yet.

"And Odd," she adds, and I wait for the cutdown. It doesn't come. "You actually look halfway decent today. Do you want a reward?"

"From you," I reply, and I'm proud- I don't sound hoarse at all, "no way!" I pull a face at her, and Ulrich and I run off.

Nah, I'm not in love. I've just fallen- and maybe someone's fallen with me.

(Short, yeah, but I don't mind- I'm just glad to have the bugger out of my head and onscreen. Review, si vous plait.)

(1) Reference to "Dot Dot Dot." I had to do it. I swear. Because I'm conceited like that.

(2) I figure Odd's parents as the artist types, I mean, come on, "Della Robbia?"


End file.
